Ignoramous Anonymous - EL GoofDom

Movies i want to watch

2009-07-13T23:21:00.002+05:30

1. Nayagan

2. Halo

3. Malli

4. Iruvar

5. Charulata

For now atleast... with sub titles too!!

Parenting

2009-03-05T16:44:00.000+05:30

Mother, father & their 5 year old son at a dinner table

Mother is teasing her son and asking him who his girlfriend is…

“Baba tell us who your girlfriend is…Shikha??…Tamana??…Purva??...

(the 5 year old is shaking his head in denial/disgust…or maybe he’s just enjoying his hair tickling his cheeks as he shakes his head)

… Tina??... Riya??...

(the 5 year old continues to shake his head)

…tell no baba… who you like…”

Father - “Maybe he’s gay…”

withdrawal symptoms

2009-02-23T14:54:00.000+05:30

I need help...I think I'm having withdrawal symptoms...n its been just 2 days...
quick google on withdrawal symptoms... yes indeed I'm having withdrawal symptoms
abbbha...

Dawn

2009-02-23T14:49:00.000+05:30

Her name meant something in Persian…I forget…
I don't really know her except from my conversations with her friend & some random facts bout her.
I think I spoke to her a few times…not that I remember any.

“So now seriously tell me who is fatter…her or me…
(Women somehow always ask these questions and I somehow always never manage to answer correctly (read – something which sounds right!)…yet I answer)
She’s the only one I can relate to at work…I think she’s sane… she calls me fatty…but seriously don’t you think she’s bigger than I am…”
(Women!)

“…but that’s probably because you’re short too na”

“BASTARD”

“She’s broken up with him again…”

“Again?”

“Yeah they keep having these fights on and off but he says this time he’s had enough…
…you know every time they’d fight, he’d tell me that he knows her well enough to understand that she’s just passing through a phase n she’ll come around… but how much can he take…”

“Yeah I’ve met him just that one time n I thought they were too cute to be true…he was sarcastic as hell …seemed fun to be with….so she’s single eh?!?”

“BASTARD….
…I know what’s going through her head…when it’s the first time you’re in a relationship you always feel that there might be something better out there which you don’t know….though sometimes there isn’t and it isn’t easy realizing that…”

I didn’t even know them, yet it hurt!

Audio Visual

2008-08-31T02:56:00.001+05:30

A: so i dont make you jittery?
at all??
V: yes you do
A: when??
V: all the time...
u stir things up
u make things hard for me..
u make me nervous
u make me happy
u make me feel like a stud
u make me feel like the worst singer!!!!

2008-07-24T23:33:00.000+05:30

"Nothing worth comes easy"

2008-07-23T23:02:00.002+05:30

sent msg bout different types of orgasms to ex boss...

positive orgasms - oh yes ohh yess

spiritual - oh god ohh godd...

etc etc...

ex boss' reply - "n u forgot the fake one....ohhh vipul i'm coming..."

goofdude - "the women you do say that?" (yeah i know...thats the best i could come up with...)

ex boss - the women u "try" to do say that...n then they come to me for the ultimate satisfaction...

DOH

2008-07-08T00:06:00.002+05:30

goofdude: oh how was your trip to bengaluru???
lunatic1: oh it was awesomeman...
goofdude: you got drunk again didn't ya...
lunatic1: of course...

yada yada
yada

G: so what did you get for me from Bengaluru...
L: nadda...the pyjama nadda...
G: :$

yada yada yada...yashoda!!! (just for kicks!)
L: Did you meet him after we left...
G: No
L: you hate him don't you...
G: No no not at all...
L: Its ok, you can tell me...its not like i'm pretty fond of him either you know...
G: ummmm...hokay...
L: As in, if i don't meet him or speak with him, it wont be the end of my world you know...
G: yea yea those feelings only totally i feeling...
L: ...but... if i don't speak with you...it will be the end of my world...
G: Oh man...one nadda n one senti dialogue... today must be my lucky days...
L: Oh don't worry some other day i'l buy 2 naddas n give you 3 sentis
G: oh yeah ..
L: ok now quit buging me, my break is over...

2008-04-19T23:51:00.002+05:30

2 missed calls...ooh

call back!

character 2 - hulla

character 1 - *trying to immitate* hulla

character 2 - what are you doing on a saturday night

character 1 - i have a cold

character 2 - what are you having a cold with...beer??

character 1 - no man... i'm having a cold with crocin n navy cut!

character 2 - oh i love crocin n navy cut!

character 1 - yeah?

character 2 - if i catch an early morning flight, will you have crocin n navy cut with me

character 1 - really?

character 2 - no duuuda

character 1 - oh

character 2 - ok now quickly sms me her no...ok buuyyyyeeee

character 1 - ok buuuyyyeeee

the most exciting moment of my saturday...yeah!

2008-03-31T21:13:00.002+05:30

Character1 - Character3wants to work in Mumbai…so the plan is that he will quit his job n move to Mumbai n become a struggler…I don't need to quit my job to become a struggler… n we will talk bout life everyday (ala character4 style)

Character2 - what does he want to struggle with?

Character1 - Not quite sure but I think Struggle with life, society, existence, people, mediocrity, expectations….it just feels like something straight out of an artsy movie… which will lead to a guru dutt kind of a film…n then recognition will eventually…which he would shun cause by then he would’ve risen above the trivialities of life, fame n all that razzmatazz….

Character2 - Is he really that twisted?

Character1 - No no, i thought that up...think i should run it past him...

but spiderman gets his girl in the second movie...

2008-03-24T00:07:00.004+05:30

"Can i ask you something?"
"yeah..."
"why didn't you kiss me..."
"i did...i mean that is kissing..."
"no i mean...you know...my lips..."
"ahhhh...*awkward pause* (don't mess it up...) i wasn't sure if you were ready for it..."
"ohh... you have to catch me off guard"
"ok so tomorrow when i come to meet you i will kiss you on the lips!!!"
"why are you telling me this... you should've just..."

they walked the next evening ...in search of... all they needed to do was to find a place in that residential area... someplace quiet...someplace dark...someplace they couldn't be spotted...
it looked empty... there were dry leaves all over the ground which made more noise everytime they placed a step ... they found a rock in the middle of that tiny residential tree jungle...
the fact that there could be snakes or insects there didn't really cross his mind...he was just tripping on the fact that there was this awesome babe who was sitting so close to him...
he put his arm around her waist...he loved they way it felt...always did...

"hey...you have something on your face..."
n before she could realise what he was talking bout he kissed her... it was awkward
in his mind he thought that she would hate kissing forever...
he quickly withdrew...
she looked stunned/speechless/shocked... he couldn't read her mind... (he still can't read her mind!!!)
he knew he had to kiss her again...only this time it was a lil more gentle...he thought he was doing much better..
"mmmmmm" she moaned ever so slightly...
"you know you could kiss me too..."
she smiled.... he was high...

it not just that she has the cutest face he had ever thought imaginable..
..its not just that her voice makes him feel giddy with joy
he'd never had so much fun just holding hands
its not just that he loves the way she giggles silly...or how the contours of her face express so many emotions, that make him regret every moment for not making that extra effort...when he had the chance...
how he wanted to hold her close n stroke her hair n tell her how much he loves her...like he did when she cried...
how he likes to see her smile when she does...ofcourse the giggle needs to come in after that..
he curses himself...n a few other ppl (he likes to be magnanimous once in a while)... for not being able to express himself for fear of worrying her and losing her forever

but spiderman got his girl in the second movie...

Cosmo-ic excitement

2007-07-23T00:16:00.000+05:30

Goofster: I found a Cosmo at my place, I'm so excited.

Aloo: I found a Playboy at office, i'm even more excited.

Goofster: I am dating a Playmate...I think i'm winning this battle...

Aloo: I am a playmate. I have won this battle!

Goofsta: I'm never gonna date a playmate ever again!

Aloo: Enough of this rubbish. Good night idiot. I have an early day tomorrow.

One for old times sake...this one i wrote on orkut...bout My coll's daily routine...something for the juniors to mull over

2006-07-01T22:14:00.000+05:30

0730 hrs: oh f*$k!! i'm late again... guess i'l attend the 10 am class...

0930 hrs: ooooh breakfast

0945 hrs: is this what we paid for...

1000 hrs: beg the attendance guy to put your attendance for the previous class that you missed!!!

1015 hrs: (looking around in class) *do we have the best looking chicks amongst all B-Schools or what???*

1020 hrs: (bench mate nudges you..pointing to the crossword) do u know what the answer to this one might be???

1100 hrs: *damn half an hour more to go!!*

1130 hrs: damn that felt like forever!!!

1135 hrs: (asking your neighbour bout the prof)...what the hell was he talkin bout...

1145 hrs: *lemme just see if the attendance guy has left...maybe i can sneak out...*

1200 hrs: *wish i was not so chicken n had just sneaked out...bas#*$d is rambling on n on... ooh i smell chocolate...who it is...*

1230 hrs: *half an more to go before i can hog...oh damn not the mess food again*

1300 hrs: hmmm lunch...(your group mate comes n asks you..have u prepared your slides)*dammit*

1310 hrs: lunch over....have to do that presentation thingy... this is what we fondly refer to as JIT technology in SIMS!!!

1330 hrs: *what the f*#k is this presentation bout..*

1345 hrs: *phew...my slides are done*

1400 hrs: (different group member)...have u guys done this analysis???

1401 hrs: crap crap crap crap

1415 hrs: Let the Games begin

1418 hrs: (Prof to the class)...who will come n give the presentation first???

1419 hrs: all classmates still looking at each other egging the other to go for the presentation first...

*********
Now there are two kind of scenarios here...
1. A group thinks it has done a super cool job so it should go first...
2. a group knows it has done a lousy job...so might as well get it over with...

*********

1430 hrs: (your group starts giving the presentation... your turn comes..) (you nudge the guy speaking...can u tell my part too...pleease...)

1440 hrs: *job well done my friend*

part deux
1500 hrs: *as soon as the next group comes to the floor...i shall sneak out..*

1502 hrs: FREEDOM

1503 hrs: (you ask your friend who sneaked out with you)...dude what do we do now???

1504 hrs: (after a careful thought process) lets go n read up something in the library....(geek)

1507 hrs: in the library...checking out the movie section in the newsies...

1508 hrs: wow hot babe movie in e^2

1509 hrs: dude lets go...ok!!!

1530 hrs: reach e^2 after the customary pit stop at JJ...

1532 hrs: (after waiting forever) damn no tickets...

1533 hrs: do u think we should attend the 5 o clock class??

1600 hrs: back in college...after the customary pit stop at JJ...YAY

1630 hrs: *yawn*...*more yawns* chuck it baap...lets just sleep for a while..

1700 hrs: dude think we are late for the class...

1701 hrs: we can't make it for the attendance...just call up someone n ask him to put our proxy...

1715 hrs: do u think we got our attendance... hmmm...i dunno...let me msg him n ask...

1730 hrs: i'm hungry

1740 hrs: on the way to khadki market to have samosa n dhokla n wada pav...

1800 hrs to 2230 hrs: look lost on campus...chit chat...network...mingle...dare i say flirt...

2230 hrs: Manuel: Get inside...what is this...is this the time..didn't u hear the whistle....(BAS%#RD)

SIMS comes alive

2240 hrs: go knocking on doors to ask for some food...

2300 hrs: go knocking on doors to beg for smokes...

2330 hrs: go knocking on doors to hunt for booze...

0000 hrs: go knocking on doors to ask ppl if they have any movies...cause u couldn't get anything u asked for before...

*somebody is gettin kicked black n blue...cause its his budday..poor soul

0030 hrs: (was that a cracker in the corridor)

0045 hrs: warden...deputy d...in the boys hostel....*think someone got into a fight with someone*

0100 hrs: think its time to sleep...

0115 hrs: someone knocks on your door...

0116 hrs: (your neighbour from a diff class...).. yaar ye jo presentation hai...tumne de diya already???
ME: haan yaar...you want...
HE: yes yes yes...plzzzz
ME: Get me a movie
HE: just give me a sec

0120 hrs: movie mil gaya...

somebody somewhere is still fighting

somebody somewhere might be getting lucky....

...everything is possible in SIMS

even if it just on the phone!!!

0200 hrs: ...this movie sucks...think there is a movie marathon going on in my neighbour's room...

0202 hrs: knock on neighbours door

HE: Kya hai?
ME: which movie are you watching???
HE: Aaja

(passing the poison to you)....here have a sip...

...n so life goes on in SIMS

the end

2005-11-29T19:10:00.000+05:30

the humour has run out of funny
the sarcasm has run out of wit
the non-sense has run out of sense
the reason has run out of ambiguity
there are no answers

....only a million billion questions with no answers in sight

its time for me to go now

no more space for anything....

"Of everything that stands, the end
No safety or surprise, the end
I'll never look into your eyes...again

....limitless and free...

Desperately in need...of some...stranger's hand
In a...desperate land"

goodbye....

turn the fucking light off

2005-11-26T18:43:00.000+05:30

i write...not for a reason....cause i feel like...what i write...is not for a reason....cause i just felt like it....

there is no reason here...or reason there....there is jus no reason whatsoever...

...so turn the fucking light off....oh i just buimmed this off some Oasis live performance...kekekekek

friend....

2005-11-26T12:59:00.000+05:30

can a girl n a guy ever be the best friends without either wanting the other more than just friends...

once u r the best offriends...can it never go beyond that...r u always stuck in that friends zone...or can it ever break out of it....

is it disastrous to ever have feelings for your best friend(don't mean to sound homophobic...but i'm talkin bout friends in terms of male-female friendship)....do u try your luck...n risk everything good bout this relationship called friendship.....

why is a male-female friendship so different from male-male frindship..or for that matter female-female friendship....

if you like a girl/guy...do u start off with trying to be his/her friend...get to know the other person n then try your luck...how far do you go before getting stuck in the friends zone forever...maybe i'm being very crass by saying that one gets stuck in the friends zone....but why does it get so hard to crank it up a notch and....

its like you're in a no win situation....
once one of the two friends gets into a relationship with someone else...what does the other person do...does he/she still remain the same to the other person or does he/she completely back out of it n then not be a supposrtive friend tha he/she had been.....you're damned for not being the friend that you are supposed to be...how much does the other person need you now that he/she has gotten into a relationship...does he/she need you sa much as they needed you before...how much supportive can you be without being intrusive....how much space do you give the other person without distancing yourself away...how much do you expect from the other person....how much are you expected to expect....how much of a friend are you supposed to be...do you still remain the best of friends...do you move on..how much....do you wait...how long...do you pretend...how much without ever being pretentious n plastic...

Will you still remain the special person for the other one...
are your priorities gonna remain the same...if not then were you a good friend to start off with....which means that you were not selfless to begin with....u were jus some prick who was just doing that to make the other person like you...you are as pathetic as one can be...you are the jerk...n all the nice things that you did was all nothing but just one big facade....

its better that one never has these kinda friends....

...currently listening to...

2005-11-16T02:34:00.000+05:30

spies - coldplay
lost for words - floyd
riders in the storm...

...my mum..."beta plzzzz kabhi kabhi padh liya karo!!"
listening...but not quite doing the needful...

hemorrhage - fuel
holy wars - megadeth

elanor rigby

...my neighbour.." dude you're never gonna get a girlfriend...cause i always see you getting stuck in the freinds zone...*n then burst out into peals of laughter*...huh...so seriously are you gay???"
wait till i glut down all your food dude...then we'l see who laughs louder!!!

wildest dreams - moody blues
fear of the dark - iron maiden
under pressure - bowie n queen

my soul.."say what???"

take it to the limit - eagles

some old hag...from some ol movie..."what we've got here is failure to communicate..."
dude...what is she talkin bout???

hold my hand - hootie n the blowfish...

Mrs robinson moan....thats my bike u pervert......freak

warning sign.....i missed the good part n i realised...DOH!!!

i gotta see bout a girl....good will hunting...

i need an easy friend(about a girl)...kurt cobain..

i need a friend...who doesn't need me(hyacinth house) - doors

alive - pearl jam

i am mine.......
i know i was born n i know that i'll die
the inbetween is mine

how bout you - staind
parallel universe - red hot chilli peppers

my neighbour..."bellap stop eating all our food..."
kekekekekekekekekekekekekekeke

kylie...seriously why wouldnt i listen to her...

i was just waiting for you...meg ryan said that to me....well its my twisted head...n in my head she did...

killing me softly...well aktually i am the one killing everyone softly with my jokes!!!!

you're body is a wonderland...aktually i sing this to my roomie...

my neighbour.."damn you bas&*%d....take the food...but get outta my room!!!"
i still dunno know what he's complaining out...

see you soon - coldplay
59th street bridge - sng

robert di niro - are you talking to me???
hero of the day - metallica

my blog friends..."dude you're pathetic!!"...yes all of em...

my muscles.."i'm sorry..but do i know you???"

any sorta food...."come to yavarappa!!!"

friend2..."jus because i can't understand your stupid corny non veg jokes...does not mean u will make me the butt of your jokes on your blog..."

kekekekekeke.....eeeuuwiiilllgieubleeedddaaaa

my inner voice..."hmmm....food"

the new n improved Happy Birthday song

2005-10-31T15:43:00.000+05:30

Oh why were you born so beautiful
Oh why were you born at all

You're no fucking good to anyone
You're no fucking goog at all

War and famine
War and famine

People Die
People Die

...and its your Birthday...

So, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

Credits - Upasana Advani.....thanks for rewriting history!!...or something to that effect!!!

In conversation with friends part 2

2005-10-21T15:40:00.000+05:30

three friends...namely:
goofdude(yours falsely....kekekekeke)
friend 1
friend 2

The scene:
The three friends are sittin in a coffee shop getting bored...

The Story:
...yeah so as i was saying...
the three friends were getting bored...so goofdude...as always...decides to put the other two out of their misery n tell em a joke....

Goofdude: oh hey i gotta a joke...dunno if you've heard it 'fore...
Friend 1: oh is it that one with that thingy in....
Goofdude: ye ye...whateva..listen to me atleast once...
Friend 1: ok tell na then...
(till now Friend 2 is just wondering what is it that we are talkin bout...)
GD : ok so the joke would be(*rolling eyes*) - there was this man who was talkin to some chick n he told her.."before i was born god asked me if i wanted a good memory or a big dick...n i can't really remember what i picked!!!"
(before anyone could react or laugh or whateva...)
Friend 2: Hmmmm..that is really bad memory!!!!

(there is exactly 6.7 seconds of silence....n then goofdude n friend 1 look at each other.... n then togather look at friend 2...n then again look at each other....n then decide its time to burst out into peals of laughter....)

*7 minutes and 28 seconds later*

(goofdude n friend 1 still rolling on the floor literally n still laughing)

while....

(friend 2 is still wondering what he said...)

Friend 2: ok so what is soo funny...he has a bad memory...i dont see what's soo funny bout the joke

(goofdude n friend 1 cant take it any more....)

**********************************************************

goofdude n friend 1 finally did explain the joke to friend 2.....light bulb lit.... n there was happiness all around...

goofdude n friend 1 still think friend 2 didnt get the joke...though friend 2 maintains that he did...he is the same guy who was mentioned in one of my earlier posts...who didnt know where babies came from....

that cracks me up still...

yeh i know i need a life...

hey this has the opposite sex mentioned just once....what say Ms. R

backpacking my way to australia

2005-10-08T12:38:00.000+05:30

i started my blog only cause my friend khat-mal.blogspot.com told me to do so....cause he preobably thought i would write some interesting stuff...well that didnt happen anyway...and somewhere along the way this space became the means for me to vent out my anger against myself and not physically hurt me....yeah i'm quite the brave dude ain't I...but off late ....i dunno....just cant write specifics....well i've refrained myself from tht till now...or atleast i tried...n now it becomes increasingly difficult...n blogging fails to turn me on....to say so...

i need a break from me....maybe i should go to australia n hook up with a couple o babes(well its my dream so i get to choose!!!)...aktually thats what one of my friends did when he was having his quarter life crisis...n spent 4 months in australia.... i really dunno if i am hiving my quarter life crisis...i really don't care...to me its just a term...that...yeah basically i dunno what to do with it...

this post sucks...pretty much like every other post of mine.... man i still cant get those two chicks outta my mind...so what if they are make believe....isn't everything else about me...me myself n ...damn i cant even finish phrases with words that just fit....

i'm all messed up without aktually knowing what it is that makes me do all the wierd things i do...paranoia has engulfed me...n made a cog outta the already shrinking life that i have!!!!

what is it that i'm harping at...i'm not too sure..when have i ever been...aaaarrrghhhhhh

crap crap crap crap...oh crap

2005-09-29T21:51:00.000+05:30

in response to the responses to my previous post...

i realy dunno who my friend was refering to when she talked bout the good apples n the rotten apples...

i really don't care....i know i know she just sent it to me cause thats what friends do...look out for ya...thats all there was to that message!!!

so anyone who thinks i'm an apple....well i'm not...not much of an apple fan...more found of pears...though i like the ipod!!

this is where i pop out of this n let this post be a reminder to my readers(ok just one...not plural) that even i have some good days once in a while i have my bad days too....ok every day gets worse....everyday is a winding road

a message

2005-09-28T13:01:00.000+05:30

BOYS are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. The girls don't want to reach for the good ones because they're afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead they just get the rotten apples that are on the gr ound, that aren't as good, but easy to get.So the apples at the top think that there is something wrong with them, when in reality, they are amazing. That is why we just have to be a little patient find the right girl. The one who takes a chance to find the good, right apple, will come someday...

my friend sent me this.... i think she sent me this in an attempt to cheer me up...

i wanna be your friend

2005-09-14T03:33:00.000+05:30

...so you wanna go out for coffee sometime....there's this movie that i've been wanting to see for quite a while, wanna come....i like you quite a lot...n thats when i've got my restraining order...

man, is asking out women tough or what...though i'm not exactly the right person to be saying that cause the first time was when i was absolutely dead sure bout how the other person felt bout me n well she told me to ask her out n be the man in the relationship...n then there was this scond time when i didn't even realise that i felt the way i felt bout her till she told me that she knew i liked her but she couldn't get into a relationship with me cause i was not boy friend material...or was it cause i was way too ugly...or i think she told me that she never saw a future with me...or was it that she just never saw me in that sense...basically i was turned down even before i asked her out...
moral of the story - I'm very smooth when it comes to women...quite the stud i am!!!

oh wait just cause the moral has been stated does't mean that i cant ramble on for a lil longer...ok a lot more...

i dunno why but i just can't be forthright when it comes to women...it only happens with women i have the hots for...i mean when it comes to asking a girl bout the hickey, subtlety is a pipe dream....i'm the man.... i will embarass her in front of every tom dick n harry..... yes my abnormally large foot in my even bigger mouth is my first middle n last name!!!!

people tell me that i'm funny n witty(ok just one - my neighbour aloo...or was he stoned when he said that...more bout my neighbours in the next post...) but when the girl i like is there in the vicinity i get all concious n completely lose it n come out with my worst ever versions of what i would usually refer to as "the artist formerly known as jokes"...

have been in a relationship before n i got more bored of me than my babe...i dunno if i was just comfortable in the relationship or just too scared to pull her leg or make fun of her n not tick her off...maybe that was the undoing...it stopped being fun...anyway thats an entirely diff story....

i've had plently of crushes...n all of em have ended in the same way....either i've messed it up because of my obnoxious sense of humour or...ok thats the only reason...

why god why??

oh ofcourse there's the ever popular reason that they just wanna be friends with you.
maybe i'm the kind of guy who is good at cracking jokes(even though i'm the only one who thinks of them as jokes...but lets not get started on that one..) and just easing the tension in the air(whenever there is...) but i'm not the guy whom one can depend on emotionally or who is not really mature enough to handle the more serious issues in life or maybe i'm just not the guy one would like to wake up next to in the morning(not that i look any better in the morning sans my make up...for the record i do not put on any make up...though there was this one time in choir camp way back in 4th grade when i did n well not such a great story...)...or the guy you wanna call up first when you land a great job or the guy you just can't wait to call just to hear his voice(i have a nice voice BTW...so i've been told by one person...guess the creator decided it could either be the voice or the face...)...or the guy you just wanna hold cause you just wanna hold him....

which brings us to the most important question...what do i do....

every time i've asked a girl out or tried to(that is all of two times)...it has ended up with the girl just wanting to be friends with me or not wanting to even see my face...

so maybe i should just start of with the line "i wanna be your friend" n as cheesy as that line happens to be i think it will work...cause every other guy uses it n ends up getting the girl...n that every other guy does not happen to be me...n guess who is the one without the babe....

aaaarrrrgggggghhhhhh

its rather late in the night...n i have a class in another 3 and a half hours...guess i shall not be attending that....so now that that's established guess i shall sleep likea log...cause i've been working like a dawg....its been a hard day's night....

adieu amigos

The Wonder Years

2005-08-27T00:06:00.000+05:30

...n young boys, full of confusion, full of fear, full of love and full of courage grow up stealthily...in their sleep.
Kevin Arnold - The Wonder Years

was just watching wonder years...the old series with kevin arnold n winnie cooper n paul pfifer...
brings back so many memories...remember being about the same age when they were being aired...n how i really waited with anticipation to see kevin make out with winnie...i think that just bout it...guess the humour was the second reason...distant second...but yeah it was something....the series!

excerpts from a mail my friend sent me...givin me advice bout relationships n chicks n the works

2005-08-10T01:44:00.000+05:30

i've just taken the parts which didn't contain explicit content to protect my already tarnished image!!!

there may be parts where u don't find a continuity between the paragraphs..well thats cause i've deleted some of the stuff... so kindly bear with it...

anyway here it goes...

**********************************************
... girls are weird man... if u ask them what kind of guy they wud want to settle down with.. 99.99% (dont ask!) would say "a guy who makes me laugh!" n then u ask them.. dont you want a goodlooking guy?? n they give u this indignant look and say.. "ha! looks dont matter to me!" you know if that was the case, statistically speaking, i should be getting laid every 30 secs!!!! DO U SEE THAT HAPPENING?!?!?! I DONT!!! girls just love to give this impression that they're deeper than just face
value... watta load of CRAP! i admit some of them are like that.. but they are the most sought after chicks because they really are beautiful in and out. i bet uve noticed hot babes goin around with loserish guys n u think... HOW ON EARTH?!?! now these chicks really dont give shit abt looks, its the person that counts.. but surprisingly these are the same chicks, when we look at them we think to ourselves... no chance she'll even wanna associate with me! BIG MISTAKE!

indians are inherently conservative and enforce all kinds of stupid restrictions on girls.... anyway when girls dont have too much freedom and when they get a whiff of that independence they're unsure of how to handle it so they go all out, (the same goes for guys too btw! no gender discrimination! but guys openly admit they just want looks!

ppl have this major misconception that if u r funny and act goofy (u dont act i know) then ur immature & childish.. whereas the real reason u do it is to make the other person feel comfortable.....only the bright ones see thru all that! so when u meet that person (guy or girl in ur case)... u'll be laughing at urself for having a crush on the chick. i've laughed a lot..believe me... but come to think of it.. mostly it was at u!! hehehe OGAY DONGRY PLS CONTROL THE WAATERWARAKS!

now that i've successfully put u to sleep i can make u turn around n bend over! MWHAHAHAWHWHAHWHAWHHAHW

dont worry man... ur a dog...... what i meant was every dog has his day! thangu! thats what i call a masterful backhanded compliment..

i lauu u

chal baira!

**********************************

oh BTW this is the same guy bout whom i have written bout in a couple o posts earlier - "Joey"

what you saw above was a heart to heart talk between two losers who just want to get laid...

this is the message we send out to all the losers in the world...ok only the handful who actually read my blog....the cosmic blog world...so basically nobody...

...anyway the message being...
was there a message...does it really matter...

all that really matters is that i'm still very much part of the engg n the desperate clan!!!

hail ugliness!!

in conversation with friends

2005-07-29T11:39:00.000+05:30

goofdude: man the birds n the bees

friend1: yeah i know

friend2: hmmmm

G : what bout em...

F1 : i didn't know bout it till i was in 10th grade

G : what rubbish...i had a vague idea as to what it was by the time i was in 7th...

F1: i didn't even know where babies came from till i was in 11th. *chuckles to himself* ...till then i used to think that babies come from the stomach...

F2: yeah they do come from there...don't they...

*goofdude n Friend1 look at friend2 in shock for all of 5 seconds...n then we decided to burst out into peals of laughter....which went on for the next couple of days...actually the joke's still on him!!!*

oh we did tell friend2 where babies did come out from ...under normal circumstances ...

we've also been made to keep our traps shut ever since bout this particular incident...

i've only told one other person till now....oh wait one more after that first one...thats all!!!!

(the names have been withheld for the issues pertaining to .....i dunno..you know what i'm harping at!!!!)

bastard, this is not the last of me

2005-07-13T23:26:00.000+05:30

had a fight with with my friends...n by fight i mean...i chickened out n shut the door...

at the moment my room does not have a bed for me...so sleeping in my friends room...who also happens to be my neighbour...
so anyway what really happened is that i was sleeping n a couple of ruffians...who are actualy friends..but to add to the dramatic value of this post i shall call em ruffians...came to the room...n woke me up...n put water on me n the next thing i know i had shaving foam all over my face n watever lil hair i have...

so the stud that i am, i did wait for them to leave the room..n then sent him an sms abusing him n tellin him that this wansn't the last he had seen of me...
BIG MISHTAKE
so both of them came back....but this time we were clever...cause we didnt open the door....even though they went on knockin on our door for over half an hour....lots of words were exchanged..then they had had enough....so they decided to burn paper n slid it under the door...that went on for quite sometime...then they ran outta paper..so they asked us to give em paper...when we didn't...the decided to throw wet newspaper from their balcony onto our balcony....very funny na...it is when you are a lil buzzed!!!!

i think they got tired after that..so we crashed..

Nah not a funny story...thats it

Joey

2005-06-27T02:12:00.000+05:30

i know this guy...whom i shall not name...ogay i might as well name him joey for reference

joey after the friends character played my matt le blanc...cause in a lot of ways he reminds me of joey...my friend that is!!!

I've known him for over 10 years now...though we've never been in the same plce for too long...but somehow managed to stay in touch...ahem if you know what i mean....I'm very much straight...but its just that whenever i talk to him all the lust just takes over...

Now now before any of you jump to any of those perverse conclusions let me make it completely that both of us are two completely heterosexual guys in desperate need to get laid atleast once before we die...(thats with genuine women)..but whenever we talk, sanity is like when madonna sang "like a virgin" ...touched for the very first time...in other words a big farce!!!

...n in those moments of dementia he has proposed his undying love for me by asking me to bend over innumerable times...

our chats bout dames were some sort of a pinching contest..cause there was so much in common(the pinching contest is because of the same pinch funda....) in terms fo the ways n the dialogues women have used on us to TURN US DOWN...

we also share the same opinion bout women...UNATTAINABLE

i met joey recently n we both were updating each other on our action packed lives(read zero action) and it actually spooked both of us...we both wondered if we had pursued the same women....or if they were related or knew each other or u know...the works...

though he once was going around with some chick...n they broke up n got back only 7 times..i dunno, i think he was going for some james bond number or something...kids i tell u...well even i got back a with the same babe...just a couple of times...or was it more...well it was definitely less than 7 times...oh man...phew...nice save...

though over the years we've learnt our lesson...that we won't get laid as much as we'd like...ok in my case thats probably never...

he's started seeing someone lately n betrayed everything that i stood for....not too sure...but since i'm very much single n the chances of that changing seem overly bleak....so anyone who's not single...is not conforming to the rules my exclusive posse comitatus of the engg n the restless!!!!

you know there might be a day when i find something very deep n meaningful n profound to write bout...but till that comes about i shall just stick to trashing my friends...

I LAAUUUU U GUYS....u mean everything to me....

The engg n restless

2005-06-17T00:19:00.000+05:30

disaster strikes again

one of my friends called me today...n she told me that this guy whom we shall refer to as 'CUTIE' has started going around with some dame from his work place...

oh man did i almost break down or what...

well not really out of jealousy or...u know i'm not really a sadist...but it felt like he betrayed the male sorority that i had almost formed in my insti....well it wasn't like we formed it....it was more like the mantle was thrust upon us in some sorts...

lemme explain how this all happened...

so as i have been elucidating the masses bout my singleton status over my blog...

well my friends in my insti have instilled this belief in me that i have absolutely no scope with the opposite sex at least not with the current bevy of babes at my insti...so i would have to try my luck in lust with the juniors bout to join... n i was the most popular(read desperate) in this particular group of single(read despairing) young lads who weren't making much progress with the women...so would have to wait n watch out for the juniors!!!!

so how does cutie come into the picture...

well me n him were the only two guys in this particular group....in the sense our friends told us that we probably would not have any luck with the junior chicks...

now why would they say such nasty things...
well in my case the hideously monsterous looks have always been my undoing....
but in cuties's case...well he is rather good looking...so is the verdict from the women..but he is too decent n nice a bloke to you know....i dunno...i guess we all could never picture him getting romantic with any chick....let me leave that at that!

so what is my answer to cutie's betrayal...

well i have decided to form this club called the
"the engg n the restless"

i proclaim myself as the founding n very permanent member!!!

our war cry will be - "EEWWWIIILLLLGGIIEEUUBBLLOOOODDAA"
incase u guys wonder what that means.... its just a very hip mallu way of saying 'you'll give bloodaa'
the aaa at the end of blood is for the Dolby effect!!!

opposition will be called - 'titers' which is the opposite of looser

now i got some responses like opposite of loser would mean intelligent...plzzzz do not think so much

i feel the need to make some rules....but feeling too lazy at this point of time...so let me procastinate that for some other time
I'm open to suggestions though!!

our motto is to spread the message not the virus!!!

i would like to get a feedback though!!!

membership is open to anyone n everyone n as an introductory offer, all applying for membership will get a free offer to lech after any chick they really like n not get slapped....promise

eewwwiiillggiieeuubblloooodddaaa!

Soul Mate

2005-06-15T02:09:00.000+05:30

soul mate....do i believe in it...

why do i ask this question...well to be really frank... i was just watching 'sex and the city'...i really just watch it for the articles...but it is pretty funny....that is whenever the folks are not around so i can watch it!!!
anyways in this particular episode the caracter of sarah jessica turns 35..n she's still single..as in not married....n she poses this question to her friends...

...which kinda got me thinking as to what my opinion on this was...now now...i'm not really the kinda guy who opines bout anything that requires some clear n insightful thinking...but i thought i should travel the unbeaten path once in a while(new year resolution....batter late than...u know the rest..even if its ust a word more).

well frankly speaking i'm not really sure bout it...cause everytime i've fallen in love(not that that happened a lot..) i've always felt that the other one was perfect for me...not that the other one even gave a damn bout me..but i still felt that way...guess i was not drunk enough...

i've felt that my senses are heightened when i'm drunk...not that i remember much of that....

well if i were to closely look at the two words....
soul is something i've not been aware of(...though my friends have tried to convince me bout ghosts n spirit) n well mate is something one dog does to another...end to end...or some animal...not that i'd know much bout that either having never been with animals! AHEM

i guess somewhere deep down i do believe in soul mates...n i don't think i'll ever find mine...
i feel a lot like that character in the serial..i mean there's so much in common...as in she's single n so am I...
yeah but thats where it all ends...
her character is rather hot...gets a lot of action...is successful...rich....the works...

i wonder what i'll be like when i'm 35...single-yes, desperate-yes, money-zilch, hottie-(a term still not associated with me in every which way)...oh n i guess my parents would have pretty much given up on looking out for a suitable girl for me after i scared the last 7 away...i would still be writing this blog...which no one reads still but its my only outlet to all my feelings...well no body else would even bother...

..so all in all...there won't be much change from what is the present scenario...

bugger!!!!

JENNIFER

2005-05-29T03:39:00.000+05:30

...for quite some time I've been rummaging for inspiration to blog...n a little earlier I ate it…yes...went to pizza hut n ate some Pizza (duh) n some pasta (of very questionable origin!!!).
Went with my cousin...who picked up the tab...n on that note...

I have this friend whom I shall call Jennifer (...which also happens to be her real name but nobody knows her by that name cause she for some vague reason does not like it...even though I’m spreading the word...but that’s another story....)....so anyway...
This story’s bout how she classifies men into three extremely broad categories, namely

1. Creeps - the bottom dwellers - I happen to grace this category with my presence!!!!

2. Sweet guy - I almost made it into this category...but according to the rules...I had to listen n not bitch n not crack any of my cool jokes (read pathetic jokes).

3. Sweetheart - This is a distant non-dream...non dream because I don't really aspire to endure the pressures of this premium bracket!!

So what really separates the men from the goons?

Hmmmmm….

It’s rather simple….

Let’s start from the bottom rung… now this particular category also has three tiers…
First come the ‘Simple Creeps’ who aren’t very good at listening, crib bout a lot of things, pass some sarcastic comments, with a few, I repeat, very few jokes in between….in other words…pretty much like me… Now these guys have the chance of creeping up the ladder…though it is rather tough…but not impossible!!!
Now the next tier would be the ‘I wanna stab them with my nail file or anything I can get my hands on’. By stab she really means only some serious injury n nothing more…
These guys have pissed her off quite a lot n now face her wrath…it’s usually difficult to ascend from this level…that’s something that one learns from documented history!!!
The third tier is ‘I shall castrate him’. Which simply put would mean that she wants to rid you of your…u know…
...it’s not really a penis embargo….but more of eradication methodology!!!!

Ok so now that the kill bill part is over…lets see how one qualifies for the top two broad categories….
Now to elucidate the ‘sweet guy’ and the ‘sweetheart’ category is rather simple….u take the ‘simple creeps’ category n negate all the bad qualities…n u have the answer…
For instance the sweet guy would be a good listener, knows when to talk or be witty or just silently sit when she’s whining her heart out…n your patience out too!!!!
Now what separates the sweetheart from the sweet-guy is that the sweetheart picks up her tab in a restaurant or café or just buys her smokes…or at least does not pinch her smokes…n the works
As I said I fall into the simple-creeps category…I really dunno why though…
Who cares…I had pizza today…but I’m still single….dammit life sucks

2005-05-18T00:30:00.000+05:30

I still very much have the HOTS for meg ryan...there's absolutely no turning back...it was just the character i was talkin bout....

i should never get married

2005-05-02T00:45:00.000+05:30

i was watchin "when harry met sally" earlier today..n there was this part where the character of billy crystal is getting very irritated with every lil thing that meg ryan's character is doing....the way she posts her letters...blah blah blah...
n i saw myself right there...
i get bored so easily.....i have very lil patience...i'm mr moody blues...yeah in short i'm the pits!!!!
how will i ever survive in a relationship...that is if by some stroke of magical luck i manage to con some dame...
i'd turn into my worst version...n she would have to bare the consequences...n then she'd break up with me...n then go n bitch about me (rightfully so) to all her friends...n you know how women spread the word bout the ppl they don't like...n then i would be world famous...n all women would abhor the very thought of being with me
...very smart move dumbass

2005-04-30T00:11:00.000+05:30

There's so much to write...but i dunno what to write...
...as in the feeling is to write a lot...but there's absolutely nothing that comes to my mind.....something substancial..one might say...or anything at all...i might say!!!
was talking to a friend last night...
talkin bout career n all...you know all that glorified stuff...which i fantasize bout....n thats where it all ends...
anyway..this dude...had almost everything figured out...as to what is it that he wanted to do...why he wanted to ....n how he would actually do.....geez.....it gave me the creeps....n when i say that it gave me the creeps...i don't really mean it as a disease like herpes...good lord no....but it just creeped me out...
i have completed my first yr in a b school...n i still have absolutely no clue as to what it is that i'm really trying to do with my life...
though off late...i haven't been feeling like much of a loser because...come to think of it...none of the ppl...who actualy made me think of MBA as an option did really know what they were really interested in...as in MBA wise...but they all are pretty...no wait...very successful in what they are doin at the moment!!!

but i still can't find any women...damn man...this sucks...i feel like such a loser!!!

2005-04-27T01:33:00.000+05:30

listening to turn turn turn...the byrds...is there a msg for me there....

2005-04-16T12:45:00.000+05:30

In continuance with the previous post....i amost asked the dame what was so wrong with me that she didn't like..... but just in time i realised that that it oculd take a while if she started to list out all of them... then i had to save my ego too....you know thats all i have....me n my ego....

Oh hey i almost frgot...i got my bike now.....its a black pulsar...oops sorry african american pulsar(is this too stale???)....i call her MRS. ROBINSON!!!!

2005-04-10T10:44:00.000+05:30

Always the bridesmaid...never the bride....

....20 yearsdown the line...if blogger still exists...n if you happen to come across my blog n read it....there's not much thats gonna change.... I'll still be very much single...bitching bout everyone who is in a relationship and happy...
I dunno why...but everytime i fall for someone(there haven't been too many occasions...but whenever it has...) something or the other has to go wrong....either she is involved with someone else...or if she's on the verge of breaking up, she's not really lookin to be in a relationship(atleast not with me!!!)...n when she is finally ready to get into a relationship...it obviously not me...cause she has never seen me "in that way" ....gawd only knows what they mean when they say that...
...probably its a polite way of turning you down and saying "I think you're nice n all but i really think you are nothing but crap...n when i want to introduce my boy friend to my friends...i don't want them to say...'are you blind or were you drunk??'"
People keep telling me that i'll get a very sweet dame n i deserve the best n blah blah....the hidden message being....you're never gonna get laid!!!
Its just another one of those days again...when absolutely nothing makes sense

There goes my baby
With someone new
She sure looks happy
I sure am blue

Well she never was my baby....n i guess she never will be...

2005-03-30T10:28:00.000+05:30

People say i'm wierd....but i'm pretty much like all other wierd people....n even though i have no statistical dataor for that matter ...any sort of data...) to supposrt this, but a majority of the people are like me...which would mean that we are in majority...that is the twisted are the majority...so we would be normal...which in turn would man that those who proclaim to be normal are actually the ones who are really wierd....but they are just just pretending to be cool n non wierd n look down upon us....some people i tell u....

2005-03-17T17:43:00.000+05:30

22.... single.... frustrated... desperate....challenged vocabulary(read - pathetic vocabulary).... repugnant as hell.... need i even say how many times i've been laid till date!!!
just been one of those days...when u just feel like taking out your frustration...n nobody actually listens to you....so u cant really take it out on any human....the dogs just barked n snarled...so the stud that i am...write bout it on my beloved blog!!!! bwahahahahahahah

wait actually had a pretty nice lunch at college....special lunch...but i'm already feeling hungry...so...

2005-03-16T11:57:00.000+05:30

I'm really not all that bad....besides the hideously scary looks and the obnoxious personality...there is absolutely nothing wrong with me....why then why....am i still single...guess i'm back in the desperate phase of my life which comes ever so often...n then leaves me...wait wait...ok it never leaves me...but then again thats the beauty of life...the little surprises....or in my cases..forgone conclusions....the endless list of rejections keeps growing by the hour...oh yeah...i have totally improved my efficiencey...n now i'm striking out at a dizzying rate...n there's absolutely no stopping the 'Rocket'....not the greatest nick names i have come up with have i....guess not too many ppl read my blog in any case...so screw all those who don't....so basically i'm abusing the entire world....quite a number!!!

BAH

2005-03-09T12:13:00.000+05:30

....WTF....my exams just got over a couple o weeks back....this is thepetic(read pathetic) ....will try to finish my post on my beloved family after these tests get over....groan...

My Family Part 1

2005-02-27T11:46:00.000+05:30

As i was going through my blog...(or as i wasn't) i figured that i've never mentioned anything bout my family...all i do write bout is my rocking sex life(atleast on my blog i can call it rocking!!!)
anyways....my family....
My dad's a doc....my mum's a teacher..n my sis is an architect...n thatt would make me an underacheiver....or just in lay man terms....completely useless....
my claim to fame ...my height....ok i'm out...

back to my family....
We are like any other average normal dysfunctional family!
oh BTW i completely forgot to mention the most important family member....THE TELEVISION!!!
He/She(gender bias kiss my a**) is the only member of the family that everyone listens to without ever complaining....gets the maximum attention...never gets hurt...or booted(in every sense of the word!)...or never gets cursed no matter what crap it says!!!

Now some of the ground rules in my family....
We aren't the most commuicative bunch of people....though in the house it is expressed as " If what you are going to say isn't funy...then why even bother??"

now inspite of having an inhouse doctor....besides me...nobody liistens to my dad when they get sick or some shit like that happens....everyone is an almost practising doctor....thankfully they only practise on themselves...but they practise nevertheless!!!!

Now one of the biggest hasles of having a doctor in the family is that the food is always health oriented n taste, fat n everything sinfully good is a taboo....hark

well all that food talk has made me hungry...so i'm just gonna take a break from my family n hit the food selling places....will continue this again...

Valentines Day here i come

2005-02-10T13:26:00.000+05:30

Valentines Day is coming closer...I'm sure all you guys must be having grand plans....as for me...the STUD that i am ....all day i'm gonna be doing nothing but SULK.... ofcourse once in a while i shall be contemplating(i hope i spelt that right! and used it in the right context...which is besides the point...anyways) turning GAY.....wait wait...incase by mistake any women do read my blog(Common its my blog i can write whatever i want to...)...since a lot of women read my blog... i have to tell you ladies that my looks have substancially improved since the plastic surgery i had undergone a couple of weeks ago... and the women around me have stopped throwing up...so yeyiiii...

Plz do leave your phone no, e mails address, postal address or any means through which i can get in touch with you and be around you ...(no stalking...promise!!!)

2005-01-28T13:36:00.000+05:30

" I am half human, half alien....n one third mutant!!"

war is over......

2005-01-18T13:07:00.000+05:30

First post in the new year... aint exactly been all that great to write bout.. yet again..

do People actually still make resolutions....or do they stick to the usual have as much sex as possible...which in my case would be as much as offered...which again in my case would be null...zero...eempty....which would mean that i'm stuck with leching at women n making them totally uncomfortable n totally gross em out by making slurpy sounds while i'm near em....

Most people who know me... do think (rightly so if i may add) that i'm a very decent guy....n i'm not obscene...or lewd or any of those words who's meaning i still dont know....but my blog is like my very own not so private space...but a place where i can just let go of all my inhibitions n be as uncouth n not worry bout any of this goin to my folks... who have already given up on me....but yeah let the myth remain!!

Smart Sardar

2004-12-27T10:35:00.000+05:30

A sardar gets caught by a female traffic cop for speeding.

The cop says "you have the right to remain silent and anything you say will be held against you."

The sardar says "your BOOBS"

2004-12-27T09:57:00.000+05:30

hmmm...complaints bout me making contradictory statements...

Well now...maybe i should change the name of this blog to " the wanderig mind of the ignoramous anonymous.... yeah wateva

well the deal is that i want to be unattached...n its really not out of choice(but lets just that keep that a hush hush affair)....

I've been trying real hard for god knows how long....wait...the exact no would be 14 years 15 months n 42 days...

cause its been 14 years of pain .. yeah its been 14 years of....

No seriously....i'm happy the way i am....which BTW does not mean that i'm super gay(contrary to popular belief)...but just in case some dame wants to hook up with me..plz feel free to post a msg, mail me...snail mail me...call me...msg me....common...something atleast....

having a really bad time these days...havent had any sumptious food in ages... havent scored in like...ummm...well lets just pretend and say that its been long(if anyone thinks i'm still a virgin...then lemme tell ya that i lost it while i was playing volleyball...eiyahahahahah)

gawd i'm hopeless....ah so what .... i've got my dignity.... maybe i should just sign off!!! grrrrr.....the growl is solely for decorative purpose.

2004-12-24T13:21:00.000+05:30

Saw swades yesterday....liked the movie...

Shah Rukh Khan did everything that he has not done till now...in other words...he has acted really well....n he has not acted like the Shah Rukh Khan we know!!!

The wisdom that i got from the movie was that if u r selfless enough ....you get a babe!!!

Now thats something that i have understood after seeing soo many Indian movies....
the minute the dame gets to know that you are ready to help the poor n the needy...BAM the chick is yours for keeps!!!

now to get the record straight...i am a very selfless person(Hoping women read my blog too...n if so...plzz do leave your email addresses or even your mobile phone no.... sms is dirt cheap...for me atleast)!!!

Whenever i am having some food with my friends...i share it with em....who ends up paying for it is not the point....these are all trivial issues to me.

whenever i'm drinking...i make sure that my friends get more drunk than i do...n in the process i can con em into paying the bill too...eiiiyahahahahahah....now see the selfless part here would be the fact that i'm thinking bout them all the time

when i'm thinking...i'm thinking how to convince my friends to buy me food...

ofcourse i am not very good at convincing my ppl...but the important point being that i'm always thinking bout em...

so ladies...n if the gentlemen have any hot chick friends...kindly take note of my selfless attitude...and plzz o plzzz.....put me out of my misery....grrrr

2004-12-04T20:24:00.000+05:30

got an sms....

"2 homos were looking at travel brochures. One of em said: Lets try Greece this year! The other asked: Why, whats wrong with vaseline?!?"

2004-12-04T20:15:00.000+05:30

me n a few friends(not all were males) were flipping thru cosmo the other day....
the section where u talk bout your problems....

well i have never sent anything of that sort ..but...

but i wonder if there will ever be a problem like..." I like men, women, and dogs....but i dont like any other animals...what category do i fall into???"

Now thats a thinker...

Yeah i havent posted anything in quite sometime...the standard of that pretend joke says it all!!!

2004-11-20T20:16:00.000+05:30

Ok new development...

My friends have kept a new name....

"The Psycho"

..though a a few of them prefer psychopath....

I am not really all that bad....

all i want is food!!!

not a penny more ...not a penny less

2004-11-02T21:27:00.000+05:30

A wise man once said.....

One must do things out of boredom... otherwise everything else would become boring...

Hmmmmmm

2004-10-31T18:07:00.000+05:30

One Bengali is a poet
Two Bengalis is a film society
Three Bengalis is a political party
Four Bengalis is two political parties

One Punjabi is a 100 kg hulk named Pinky
Two Punjabis is a Pinky with his brother Twinky
Three Punjabis is an assault on the McAloo Tikkis at the local
McDonalds
Four Punjabis is a combined IQ equal to one Tamil-Brahmn

One Bihari is Laloo Prasad Yadav
Two Biharis is a booth-capturing squad
Three Biharis is a caste killing
Four Biharis is the entire literate population of Patna

One Mallu is a coconut stall
Two Mallus is a boat race
Three Mallus is a Gulf job racket
Four Mallus is an oil slick

One UP bhaiyya is a milkman
Two UP bhaiyyas is a halwai shop
Three UP bhaiyyas is a fist-fight in the UP assembly
Four UP bhaiyyas is a mosque-destruction squad

One Gujju is a share-broker in a Bombay train
Two Gujjus is a rummy game in a Bombay train
Three Gujjus is a Rs. 10-crore sprocket manufacturing business
Four Gujjus is an all-night dandia-raas session

One Andhraite is a chilli farmer
Two Andhraites is a software company in New Jersey
Three Andhraites is a Naxalite outfit
Four Andhraites is a song-and-dance number in a Telugu movie

One Kashmiri is a carpet salesman
Two Kashmiris is a carpet factory
Three Kashmiris is a terrorist outfit
Four Kashmiris is a shoot-at-sight order

One Tamil-Brahmn is a priest at the Varadarajaperumal temple
Two Tamil-Brahmns is a maths tuition class
Three Tamil-Brahmns is a queue outside the U.S. consulate at 4 a.m.
Four Tamil-Brahmns is a Thyagaraja music festival in Santa Clara

One Bombayite is a footpath vada-pau stall
Two Bombayites is a film studio
Three Bombayites is a slum
Four Bombayites is the number of people standing on your foot in the
train at rush hour

One Sindhi is a currency racket
Two Sindhis is a papad factory
Three Sindhis is a duplicate goods shop
Four Sindhis is the Hong Kong Retail Traders Association

One U.S. Desi is a software guy
Two U.S. Desis is a lunch group at work
Three U.S. Desis is a bitching session about the U.S.
Four U.S. Desis is four software guys, heating tamarind rice in the
office microwave, cooked that morning, in their shared one bedroom
apartment, and bitching about life in the U.S.

2004-10-23T11:54:00.000+05:30

From this day on...I am officially changing my name to The Hulk!!!

2004-10-15T10:03:00.000+05:30

In a trial, a Southern small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand. She was a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He asked, Mrs. Jones, do you know me?" "Why, yes I do know you, Mr. Williams," she said. "I've known you since you were a young boy and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you." The Lawyer was stunned. Not quite knowing what to do next, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?" She again replied, "Why yes, I do I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster too. He's lazy, bigoted and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone
and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife Yes, I know him." The defense attorney almost fainted. The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench - and in a very quiet voice, said, "If either of you bastards asks that bitch if she knows me, I'll throw your sorry asses into jail for contempt."

2004-10-01T23:13:00.000+05:30

woah its been a while since i have written something concrete...no its not the staind song i'm singing!!!

but its been a while!!!

as i sit in front of the computer in my college...i wonder what is it that i really am supposed to be doing....well i aint really wondering...but what the hell!!!!

most people say that i am obsessed bout not having a babe...
...i dunno...its quite good not being attached...
..i can do whateva i want to wheneva i want to...(i wish i could also say ---- with whomever i want to....but alas!!!!)

but then again there are times when i do feel the need to just have that one person whom i can beat the crap out off whenever i want to....maybe i dont need a babe...maybe the hitler inside me want to rid this earth off handsome looking men...so that i can get laid....

Ah there i go again!!!!

Acting like a maniac.....Whiplash!!!!!

2004-09-25T11:54:00.000+05:30

Am i superstitious???
I'm not...touch wood!!!!

2004-09-22T09:44:00.000+05:30

back to the same ol crap....drats!!!!

2004-09-15T23:24:00.000+05:30

i am not a social drinker...i drink to get high...

i hate smoking....as long as its not pot!!!!

...drats....

wtf....

2004-09-12T13:01:00.000+05:30

This is ironic....the national impotence day in UK is the 14th of february!!!

2004-09-03T09:59:00.000+05:30

ok seriously what is this thing bout my blog beign all bright n govinda like????
i don't see it....
as far as i know all i have is this plain white background...or is it my computer lab doing some tricks....
Bollocks!!!

2004-09-02T13:38:00.000+05:30

this just in....

2004-08-31T16:39:00.000+05:30

How do people usually respond when i call em up??

vipul: hi vipul here
friend1: oh crap u again!!!

vipul: hey how are you???
Friend: dammit!!!

vipul: hello
Father: sorry wrong number!!!

me in conversation with a friend

2004-08-29T13:19:00.001+05:30

Goofy:dude i think i'm gonna write a book which will contain all my suxy jokes...i think its high time i share with the entire world what only a select few have experienced!!!
Bhains:okie, lemme know when u start writing that 'joke' book of urs... i'll start a mass suicide club... will make loads of money thru membership!
hehe yea man! i'm an entrepreunal(check out the spellin dude!! yea!!) guy!

2004-08-27T10:46:00.000+05:30

guys gotta check this one out!!!

check it out

opinion poll

2004-08-26T17:45:00.000+05:30

what out of these following options would i choose if some woman was to propose to me????...ok ok.. this is a hypothetical situation so lemme be the king for once!!

the options are
1. i would accept her proposal
2. i wouldn't believe what was happening and probably go into a coma!!
3. run like the wind
4. this is a trick question!!!
5. basket of onions
6. do u think this should be the last option????
7. i dunno what u mean by a proposal
8. i dunno how to answer this question....hence i have succeeded goofdude and become the loser king of goofdom!!!! Alrite!!
9. i really dont feel like answering!!
10. this is the most useful activity i have done in the past 20 years of my abysmal life
11. all o fthe above
12. none of the above
13. will the real slim shady plz...just get out!!!

PS ...phew this was really tiring!!

Wokay

2004-08-20T17:52:00.000+05:30

One day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercial airliner are seated, waiting for the cockpit crew to show up so they can get under way. The pilot and copilot finally appear in the rear of the plane, and begin walking up to the cockpit through the center aisle. Both appear to be blind. The pilot is using a white cane, bumping into passengers right and left as he stumbles down the aisle, and the copilot is using a guide dog. Both have their eyes covered with huge sunglasses. At first the passengers do not react; thinking that it must be some sort of practical joke. However, after a few minutes the engines start revving and the airplane starts moving down the runway. The passengers look at each other with some uneasiness, whispering among themselves and looking desperately to the stewardesses for reassurance. Then the airplane starts accelerating rapidly and people begin panicking. Some passengers are praying, and as the plane gets closer and closer to the end of the runway, the voices are becoming more and more hysterical. Finally, when the airplane has less than 20 feet of runway left, there is a sudden change in the pitch of the shouts as everyone screams at once, and at the very last moment the airplane lifts off and is airborne. Up in the cockpit, the copilot breathes a sigh of relief and turns to the pilot: "You know, one of these days the passengers aren't going to scream, and we're gonna get killed!

HAND JOB

2004-08-20T17:09:00.000+05:30

My future is bleek.....

i will get married to a person who i won't be compatible with
i will get diabetes
i dont have much scope as far as studies is concerned
i wont have a steady profession...as in i'll change...u know...
i will have hypertension
...hmmm lemme think...what else was i told

yeah someone saw my hand...n this is what is written on my hand!!!!

KABOOM

i have lost the will to be sarcastic....wait wait....almost lost the will....
till next time....
....if we meet again....

Pre reading

2004-08-19T17:28:00.000+05:30

i wonder what the blog addicts, who by some stoke of luck are in a relationship with someone from the opposite sex( or from the same sex....i aint homophobic....i am using the term in the right way....rite???), talk to their partners....do they tell the other one --->" bah!! why dont u just read my blog first and then clarify all your doubts...."
this concept is called pre reading...which is prelevant in most of the top b schools( no there is nothin of this sort here in my school!!) wherein the students study the topic that they would be taught in the next class. so they basically understand the topic beforehand...n then they are just clarifying their doubts with the teacher when he is teaching the topic!!
what losers!!!!!!

you must have already guessed by now that i aint in a relationship...for reasons i'm not aware of(hehehehe who said ignorance is bliss....!!!!)
bah!!!!

2004-08-14T20:10:00.000+05:30

recently we had a interactive session withour director where we had the opportunioty to put forth our suggestions as to how our schedule and all that jazz should be.

some ppl came up with the novel idea of having weekly business quizzes....DUH!!!
then there was the talk of having more case studies(some funda where u r given a real life situation and u have to solve the problem...n in the process u actually get some practical gyan...katte!!!)
then there was the suggestion of having 24 hour library....well hello...how much of the stardust can we read???
ofcourse if cosmo was there i could probably find out the reasons for my enforced celibacy!!!

but the thing that i liked the most was the 24 hour computer lab....woah....now i could write my blog more often(i.e. if our superior network actually opens the page in that one hour!!!)...but then again... i would be in the lab all the time...n would have no life...so...nothin to interestin to write...well...the no of ppl reading my blog are less...so i guess we could probably iggy the word 'interesting'...rite!!

Coming Back to Life

2004-07-23T17:06:00.000+05:30

back after a while....
good news...i have updated the link to the Calvin n Hobbes website...i hope it does open this time around!!!
i have been down n out for the past few days...
bad(could be good) cold....fever...blah blah...enough to keep me out of the class!!!
a lot of people have been askin me if i had posted anything new on my blog... now that puts ekistraa pressure on me n my non sense!!
let me enlighten everyone...who reads this...bout myself (Now, i know that not many people read my blog..ok 5-6....ok besides me no one does).
...i really dunno why everyone thinks i am very creative or i am very funny or i am very talented(now, a few ppl have told me...its not something that i am making up!!!)...blah blah blah...till date i still havent figured how people have come to this conclusion bout me...cause i have never delivered when it comes to doing things...in the sense...that whenever someone tells me that i should do this...put my wacky ideas...i choke...so basically what i am really tryin to say is that i have a lot of potential...but thats where the cookie crumbles.... potential potential....finito
ok enough of this serious crap....
had our freshers a few days ago...was good fun...
Atthani Chavanithis was the seniors way of getting the better of us one last time...basically they made us stand on one leg...with our our left hand stretched out...n they made us take a pledge.in a way it kinda reminded me of my days in the SS army....hail hitler!!!
yeah we got a lot of food back then...only thing missing was the female slave!!!!!bwahahahahah(thats my evil laugh...incase anyone forgot!!)after the war ended i was tortured by the jews...i became a lunatic...though i don't quite remembered how i died...or was killed...so now we all know how i was born stupid....as they say "life is like a box of chocolates....u never know how stupid u can get!!!!"

Muda muda muda

2004-07-11T13:55:00.000+05:30

I have officially(as in on the blog) changed my name from freak to muda....well atleast for the day!!!
Muda, for all those who dont know bout it...means Waste...

now many of the people who do know me n also read this blog(now that narrows the number down to ...what 2 or 3....)might not...or rather will never agree with what i said above about me becoming muda...coz i have always been the quintisential muda(waste) candidate....well that would be true too....

life is still muda....
me is still muda
tra la la la
i'm a pedo...i'm a wierdo....
yeah.....
smells like muda spirit!!!!!!!!

...n so it begins

2004-07-05T11:44:00.000+05:30

Finally the orientation is done....the breaks are all over...now the actual MBA starts....or so they say....
ok just to make things completely clear....i still have no goddamn clue as to what i am doin in a b school...

isn't this gettin way too cliche....

thats exactly what's happening to my life....

ok now that we are done with the introspection..lets get down n dirty!!!!heheheheh

cash flow is only outbound(what i really tried to say there was that financial constraints aplenty...or whateva...

Saw Lakshya a couple of days ago....identified myself with the character of Hritik Roshan....besides the good looks n the long hair...n his cute babe...not to miss out on those bulging biceps...people reading this(apparently not that many of em!!) must be wondering as to where wxactly does the similarity kick in....hmmm.....now thats a good one....well the part where he is confused with his life...thats the part i relate to....yeah i'm a loser....but lets just never repeat that again....

nothing more to write for now.....so...
over n out

week 2

2004-06-23T20:40:00.000+05:30

as the saying goes......when the going gets tough...boyzone sang the cover version(yeah i forgot the rest of that quote!!!)

anyway....as we have been told that the blood bath is just bout to begin.....
the seniors keep tellin us what to do n what not to do....lemme leave it at that....as we somehow never seem to understand....or is the rebel inside us that makes us do that...NAH....im way too chicken to do any thing of that sort!!!!

on a lighter note...i have lost almost a KG.....phew....i guess its the rigourous excercise regime that i follow.....or probably the lack of it.....its funny but i lose weight pretty easily.....i can already imagine a lot of women calling me a bas*&^% for saying that...but "what to do."
hmmm.....im still as hopelessly jobless as i was before...inspite of having a lot of work...or rather pretending to have a lot of work....

babe front.... no access;)(pun very much intended....muahahahahahah)

women still do find me repulsive....i guess somethings never change!!!!

gotta scram
peace maan!!!

the diary of anne frank....well this feels like concentration camp

2004-06-19T13:32:00.000+05:30

first week of coll....n i still dont know what i am doin in a b school!!!
every morning we get up early have a bath, get dressed n go to college....well not to study..but to sleep....phew thats a lot of effort!!!!

why am i doing MBA......still a very good Question!!!!

do i think i can make it thru....still a very good Question!!!!

I Am Mine - Pearl Jam

2004-06-06T13:38:00.000+05:30

The selfish, they're all standing in line
Faithing and hoping to buy themselves time
Me, I figure as each breath goes by
I only own my mind

The North is to South what the clock is to time
There's east and there's west and there's everywhere

life
I know I was born and I know that I'll die
The in between is mine
I am mine

And the feeling, it gets left behind
All the innocence lost at one time
Significant, behind the eyes
There's no need to hide
We're safe tonight

The ocean is full 'cause everyone's crying
The full moon is looking for friends at hightide
The sorrow grows bigger when the sorrow's denied
I only know my mind
I am mine

And the meaning, it gets left behind
All the innocents lost at one time
Significant, behind the eyes
There's no need to hide
We're safe tonight

And the feelings that get left behind
All the innocents broken with lies
Significance, between the lines
(We may need to hide)

And the meanings that get left behind
All the innocents lost at one time
We're all different behind the eyes
There's no need to hide

plastic to the rescue

2004-06-06T13:07:00.000+05:30

....had a dream last night....was hanging out with the most beautiful dame i have ever seen....

Everything was going perfectly.....the booze was cheap, the grub was great...n to top it all the dame was the sponsor...ah "Life was Beautiful!!"

So i decided to take it to the next level....

I made my move n tried to make out with her but got slapped even beofre i got close to her face...damn...thats not all...I tried to make out with her a couple more times..n again was slapped...but 5 more times...the other 3 were i guess bonus slaps!!!

Damn man...even in my imagination women find me repulsive!!!

This sucks big time!!!

Thats it...Plastic surgery AHOY!!!!

why am i still on the wrong side of virginity???

2004-06-06T02:31:00.000+05:30

Ok so ain't exactly a mel gibson or a tom cruise...but why am i finding it so bloody difficult...

i mean.....
I am the one losing my virginity....she has nothin to lose...besides her dignity...but thats not really that big a deal...in today's world atleast!!!

Common...life can be just so damn unfair at times...

Wish List - Pearl Jam

2004-05-31T01:52:00.000+05:30

I wish I was a neutron bomb, for once I could go off,
I wish I was a sacrifice but somehow still lived on,
I wish I was a sentimental ornament you hung on,
The Christmas tree, I wish I was the star that went on top,
I wish I was the evidence, I wish I was the ground,
For 50 million hands up raised and open toward the sky.

I wish I was a sailor with someone who waited for me,
I wish I was as fortunate, as fortunate as me,
I wish I was a messenger and all the news was good,
I wish I was the full moon shining off a Camaro's hood.

I wish I was an alien at home behind the sun,
I wish I was the souvenir you kept your house key on,
I wish I was the pedal brake that you depended on,
I wish I was the verb 'to trust' and never let you down.

I wish I was a radio song, the one that you turned up,
I wish, I wish, I wish, I wish and I guess it carries on.

siddhu-isms

2004-05-31T01:25:00.000+05:30

The great man once said....
"If my Aunt had a beard..she would be my uncle!!!"

n i thought no one could surpass my creative genius n inspire me!!!

hail the sardar!!!

2004-05-30T02:54:00.000+05:30

I know i didnt do anyone last summer!!!!

heeeeeeeeeeheeeeeeeee

Cheesy!!!

2004-05-30T02:36:00.000+05:30

I saw this on the Boob Tube...

A dame tells another dame...

" Do you want see what i hang on my rack"

by rack she meant the place where she hangs her clothes....but to me it sounded really corny....

my life saddens me:(

silver-quick

2004-05-24T23:50:00.000+05:30

coming back to the topic of the unknown dude/dudette who goes by the name 'silver' ....i guess i shall put the case to rest by just agreeing with the very famous saying....
" EVERY BLOG HAS A SILVER WRITING!!! "

and then there was.....

2004-05-24T00:35:00.000+05:30

i lost my virginity the other day......i shall tell you each n every detail......

so basically the story goes like....
...i was playing squash(oh yeah...inspite of all your notions that i am jobless...n your doubting my virility...) n i was wining...hey i play pretty decently...in the sense i dont wear revealing clothes....anyway...thats besides the point....so goin back to the story
so i was leading 5-0...n my opponent was tryin his best....

so i made this stretch...n pop....my cherry went.....oh wait..that can happen only to women rite...damn....i will die a virgin...life trly sucks big time...
oh just to get the record straight....it wasn't the sound of my pant ripping...nor was i farting....but the sound was there...or was it just my imagination.....thats a great cranberries song!!!

who is silver???

2004-05-24T00:16:00.000+05:30

hey there was this someone who went by teh name of silver...who left a comment...so who are you is basically what im askin!!!

plzz leave your blog addy...or some sort of identification atleast

2004-05-21T23:27:00.000+05:30

when i was small i asked my mother...what will i be....
...will i drive the ambulance...will i drive ppl nuts...will i just drive into oblivion....this is what she said to me....
muffins are tasty brownies are sweet....the futures not ours to see.....coz well...face it ....you already have myopia!!!!

sorry to all those ppl who have lesser hair after reading my blog....

bald ahoy

2004-05-21T00:14:00.000+05:30

Arjun: To me all women are sex objects.
Vipul: Why so dude???
Arjun: 'Cause whenever i ask them for sex....they object!!!!

2004-05-20T23:46:00.000+05:30

I was sitting the other day in a cafe witha friend(dudette) of mine n we were talkin bout the babes in bangalore....n how they were a feast for all guys....she agreed but added that the guys were not quite good enough...

this is the second time something like this has happened when a chick has told me that guys in this city just ain't good lookin enough....to my face.....is it high time that i start thinking bout that plastic surgery that i have been postponing!!!

what do i do?
what do i do?
what do i do?

thats not the chorus part of song by the way....

do u think this would make a really cool song???

2004-05-20T23:39:00.000+05:30

everybody gets high....
...everybody gets low...

these are the days that everything goes!!!!

everyday is a winding road!!!

2004-05-16T01:25:00.000+05:30

Teacher: What do you wish to do in future?

Mohan: I want to be a Pilot.

Vina: I want to be a doctor.

Preity: I want to be a mother.

Vipul: I want to help Preity!!!!!

2004-05-14T01:00:00.000+05:30

In some remote village of india, one masterji is teaching the
mahabharat katha to a class. he is at the 'krishnajanma' part of
it. so let him continue instead of me

masterji : to bachcho, so kansa heard the akashwani that his
sister's 8th child is goin to kill him. he was furious. he
ordered
to put vasudev n devki behind the bars.first son is born, and
kansa kills him by poisoning second one is born n kansa thorws
him
off the mountain peak third one is born..

now Ramu who is smartest of the lot puts up his hand

masterji (sounding nervous n confused) : Ramu bete, whole india
does not have doubt in mahabharata n how come u have one?
Ramu Beta : masterji, if kansa knew that devaki's 8th child was
goin to kill him, why the hell did he put vasudev n devaki in
same
cell????????

U know guys, I must admit, I never got this doubt in my head
ever.... :)

2004-05-14T00:35:00.000+05:30

Cool insults for immediate use.. VERY FUNNY!!!

To: undisclosed-recipients:;

Cool insults for immediate use

1.Any similarity between you and a human is purely
coincidental!

2.Are you always so stupid or is today a special
occasion?

3.As an outsider, what do you think of the human
race?

4.I'd like to kick you in the teeth, but why should
I improve your looks?

5.At least there'e one thing good about your
body.It isn't as ugly as your face!

6.Brains aren't everything. In fact, in your case
they're nothing

7.Careful now, don't let your brains go to your
head!

8.I like you. People say I've no taste, but I like
you.

9.Did your parents ever ask you to run away from
home?

10. If I had a face like yours. I'd sue my parents!

11. Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent!

12. Don't get insulted, but is your job devoted to
spreading ignorance?

13. Keep talking, someday you'll say something
intelligent!

14. Don't you love nature, despite what it did to
you?

15. Don't think, it may sprain your brain!

16. Fellows like you don't grow from trees; they
swing from them.

17. He has a mechanical mind. Too bad he forgot to
wind it up this morning.

18. He has a mind like a steel trap -- always
closed!

19. You are a man of the world -- and you know what
sad shape the world is in.

20. He is always lost in thought -- it's unfamiliar
territory.

21. He is dark and handsome. When it's dark, he's
handsome.

22. He is known as a miracle comic. if he's funny,
it's a miracle!

23. He is listed in Who's Who as What's That?

24. He is living proof that man can live without a
brain!

25. He is so short, when it rains he is always the
last one to know.

26. He is the kind of a man that you would use as a
blueprint to build an idiot.

27. How come you're here? I thought the zoo is
closed at night!

28. How did you get here? Did someone leave your
cage open?

29. How much refund do you expect on your head now
that it's empty.

30. How would you like to feel the way you look?

31. Hi! I'm a human being! What are you?

32. I can't talk to you right now; tell me,where
will you be in the next 10 years?

33. I don't want you to turn the other cheek; it's
just as ugly.

34. I don't know who you are, but whatever you are,
I'm sure everyone will agree with me.

35. I don't know what makes you so stupid, but it
really works.

36. I could make a monkey out of you, but why
should I take all the credit?

37. I can't seem to remember your name, and please
don't help me!

38. I don't even like the people you're trying to
imitate, if you are at all.

39. I know you were born silly, but why did you
have a relapse?

38. I know you're a self-made man. It's nice of you
to take the blame!

41. I know you're not as stupid as you look. Nobody
could be!

42. I've seen people like you, but I had to pay
admission!

43. Why are you so stupid today? Anyway, I think
that's very typical of you.

2004-05-14T00:07:00.000+05:30

(khat_mal is a doctor and vipul is his friend)
these are excerpts from their conversation on yahoo!!!

khat_mal: hey vipul i am feeling very guilty!
bheepoool: why what happened???
khat_mal: i slept with one of my patients!!!! isn't it unethical?
bheepoool: well ummm...yeah...hey wait arent you a veterinarian?????

2004-05-14T00:02:00.000+05:30

there was a time when i thought that i was a stud....i really cant remember when that time actually happened!!!

2004-05-08T23:51:00.000+05:30

why did god make alcohol???

so that even ugly ppl can have SEX!!!!

2004-05-02T00:57:00.000+05:30

Rhymes ------ check it out!!!

These are entries to a competition asking for a rhyme with the most
romantic first line but least romantic second line

Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss but I only slept with you,
cause I
was pissed

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you. But
he
roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so
is
your head.

Of loving beauty you float with grace If only you could hide your face

I thought that I could love no other
Until, that is, I met your brother

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot This describes everything you are
ot

I want to feel your sweet embrace But don't take that paper bag off of
our
face

I love your smile, your face, and your eyes- Damn, I'm good at telling
lies!

Every time I see your face I wish I were in outer space

I saw your face as you walked by but then I saw a better guy

My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife: Marrying you screwed up my
ife

I see your face when I am dreaming That's why I always wake up
creaming

My love you take my breath away What have you stepped in to smell this
ay

My feelings for you no words can tell Except for maybe "go to hell"

What inspired this amorous rhyme? Two parts vodka, one part lime

2004-05-02T00:51:00.000+05:30

The Guy's Side of the Story
We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules
from the male side. These are our rules! Please note... these are all
numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
1. Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the
tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it
that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put
it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining
about you leaving it down.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do
not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just
say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's
what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends give you.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In
fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us
to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it
done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it
yourself.
. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like
nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the
hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer
you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...
Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster
trucks.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch
tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping.
Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh!!

2004-05-02T00:48:00.000+05:30

Squirrels who run up woman's leg do not find nuts.

When I was born, I got a choice- A big dick or a good
memory. I am not able to remember, what did I choose.

Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the
condom factory.

My wife is a sex object. Evertime I ask for sex, she
objects.

Impotence: Nature's way of saying "No hard feelings".

There are only two four letter words that are
offensive to men - don't and stop, unless they are
used together.

Panties not best thing on earth, but next to best
thing on earth.

There are three stages to sex in a person's life: Tri
Weekly, Try Weekly, and Try Weakly.

Virginity can be cured.

Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a
good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dialer
were too small.

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy
adultery? .

Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with
the enemy.

Q: What's an Australian kiss?
A: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under.

A couple just married were happy with the whole thing.
He was happy with the Hole and She was happy with the
Thing......

Q: What are the three biggest tragedies in a mans
life?
A: Life sucks, job sucks and the wife doesn't.

Teacher: Use "harassment" in a sentence.
Johnny: Her mouth said 'no', but her ass meant 'yes'.

Q: What's the difference between a bitch and a whore?
A: A whore sleeps with everyone at the party and a
bitch sleeps with everyone except you.

Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact ?
A: Breasts don't have eyes.

Of course you've heard about the Viagra computer
virus, it turns your 3 1/2 inch floppy into a hard
disk.

Despite the old saying, "Don't take your troubles to
bed", many men still sleep with their wives !!!.

2004-04-29T01:36:00.000+05:30

as the day gets closer......i am still wondering.....why on earth am i doing an MBA????

besides that..... what is it that i reeally want to do with my life or in my life...or something to that effect....

oh just to get some things straight....i am about to pursue a career in Mangement..or am i...anyway...i am bout to do my MBA from this college called SIMS in Pune(the city of my birth!!!)

2004-04-27T23:57:00.000+05:30

semi charmed life!!!!