got an sms....


"2 homos were looking at travel brochures. One of em said: Lets try Greece this year! The other asked: Why, whats wrong with vaseline?!?"

me n a few friends(not all were males) were flipping thru cosmo the other day....
the section where u talk bout your problems....

well i have never sent anything of that sort ..but...

but i wonder if there will ever be a problem like..." I like men, women, and dogs....but i dont like any other animals...what category do i fall into???"

Now thats a thinker...

Yeah i havent posted anything in quite sometime...the standard of that pretend joke says it all!!!

Ok new development...

My friends have kept a new name....

"The Psycho"

..though a a few of them prefer psychopath....

I am not really all that bad....

all i want is food!!!

not a penny more ...not a penny less

A wise man once said.....

One must do things out of boredom... otherwise everything else would become boring...

Hmmmmmm

One Bengali is a poet
Two Bengalis is a film society
Three Bengalis is a political party
Four Bengalis is two political parties

One Punjabi is a 100 kg hulk named Pinky
Two Punjabis is a Pinky with his brother Twinky
Three Punjabis is an assault on the McAloo Tikkis at the local
McDonalds
Four Punjabis is a combined IQ equal to one Tamil-Brahmn

One Bihari is Laloo Prasad Yadav
Two Biharis is a booth-capturing squad
Three Biharis is a caste killing
Four Biharis is the entire literate population of Patna

One Mallu is a coconut stall
Two Mallus is a boat race
Three Mallus is a Gulf job racket
Four Mallus is an oil slick

One UP bhaiyya is a milkman
Two UP bhaiyyas is a halwai shop
Three UP bhaiyyas is a fist-fight in the UP assembly
Four UP bhaiyyas is a mosque-destruction squad

One Gujju is a share-broker in a Bombay train
Two Gujjus is a rummy game in a Bombay train
Three Gujjus is a Rs. 10-crore sprocket manufacturing business
Four Gujjus is an all-night dandia-raas session

One Andhraite is a chilli farmer
Two Andhraites is a software company in New Jersey
Three Andhraites is a Naxalite outfit
Four Andhraites is a song-and-dance number in a Telugu movie

One Kashmiri is a carpet salesman
Two Kashmiris is a carpet factory
Three Kashmiris is a terrorist outfit
Four Kashmiris is a shoot-at-sight order

One Tamil-Brahmn is a priest at the Varadarajaperumal temple
Two Tamil-Brahmns is a maths tuition class
Three Tamil-Brahmns is a queue outside the U.S. consulate at 4 a.m.
Four Tamil-Brahmns is a Thyagaraja music festival in Santa Clara

One Bombayite is a footpath vada-pau stall
Two Bombayites is a film studio
Three Bombayites is a slum
Four Bombayites is the number of people standing on your foot in the
train at rush hour

One Sindhi is a currency racket
Two Sindhis is a papad factory
Three Sindhis is a duplicate goods shop
Four Sindhis is the Hong Kong Retail Traders Association

One U.S. Desi is a software guy
Two U.S. Desis is a lunch group at work
Three U.S. Desis is a bitching session about the U.S.
Four U.S. Desis is four software guys, heating tamarind rice in the
office microwave, cooked that morning, in their shared one bedroom
apartment, and bitching about life in the U.S.

From this day on...I am officially changing my name to The Hulk!!!

In a trial, a Southern small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand. She was a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He asked, Mrs. Jones, do you know me?" "Why, yes I do know you, Mr. Williams," she said. "I've known you since you were a young boy and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you." The Lawyer was stunned. Not quite knowing what to do next, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?" She again replied, "Why yes, I do I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster too. He's lazy, bigoted and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone
and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife Yes, I know him." The defense attorney almost fainted. The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench - and in a very quiet voice, said, "If either of you bastards asks that bitch if she knows me, I'll throw your sorry asses into jail for contempt."

woah its been a while since i have written something concrete...no its not the staind song i'm singing!!!

but its been a while!!!

as i sit in front of the computer in my college...i wonder what is it that i really am supposed to be doing....well i aint really wondering...but what the hell!!!!

most people say that i am obsessed bout not having a babe...
...i dunno...its quite good not being attached...
..i can do whateva i want to wheneva i want to...(i wish i could also say ---- with whomever i want to....but alas!!!!)

but then again there are times when i do feel the need to just have that one person whom i can beat the crap out off whenever i want to....maybe i dont need a babe...maybe the hitler inside me want to rid this earth off handsome looking men...so that i can get laid....

Ah there i go again!!!!

Acting like a maniac.....Whiplash!!!!!

Am i superstitious???
I'm not...touch wood!!!!

back to the same ol crap....drats!!!!

i am not a social drinker...i drink to get high...

i hate smoking....as long as its not pot!!!!

...drats....

wtf....

This is ironic....the national impotence day in UK is the 14th of february!!!

ok seriously what is this thing bout my blog beign all bright n govinda like????
i don't see it....
as far as i know all i have is this plain white background...or is it my computer lab doing some tricks....
Bollocks!!!

this just in....

How do people usually respond when i call em up??

vipul: hi vipul here
friend1: oh crap u again!!!



vipul: hey how are you???
Friend: dammit!!!


vipul: hello
Father: sorry wrong number!!!

me in conversation with a friend

Goofy:dude i think i'm gonna write a book which will contain all my suxy jokes...i think its high time i share with the entire world what only a select few have experienced!!!
Bhains:okie, lemme know when u start writing that 'joke' book of urs... i'll start a mass suicide club... will make loads of money thru membership!
hehe yea man! i'm an entrepreunal(check out the spellin dude!! yea!!) guy!

guys gotta check this one out!!!

check it out

opinion poll

what out of these following options would i choose if some woman was to propose to me????...ok ok.. this is a hypothetical situation so lemme be the king for once!!

the options are
1. i would accept her proposal
2. i wouldn't believe what was happening and probably go into a coma!!
3. run like the wind
4. this is a trick question!!!
5. basket of onions
6. do u think this should be the last option????
7. i dunno what u mean by a proposal
8. i dunno how to answer this question....hence i have succeeded goofdude and become the loser king of goofdom!!!! Alrite!!
9. i really dont feel like answering!!
10. this is the most useful activity i have done in the past 20 years of my abysmal life
11. all o fthe above
12. none of the above
13. will the real slim shady plz...just get out!!!


PS ...phew this was really tiring!!

Wokay

One day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercial airliner are seated, waiting for the cockpit crew to show up so they can get under way. The pilot and copilot finally appear in the rear of the plane, and begin walking up to the cockpit through the center aisle. Both appear to be blind. The pilot is using a white cane, bumping into passengers right and left as he stumbles down the aisle, and the copilot is using a guide dog. Both have their eyes covered with huge sunglasses. At first the passengers do not react; thinking that it must be some sort of practical joke. However, after a few minutes the engines start revving and the airplane starts moving down the runway. The passengers look at each other with some uneasiness, whispering among themselves and looking desperately to the stewardesses for reassurance. Then the airplane starts accelerating rapidly and people begin panicking. Some passengers are praying, and as the plane gets closer and closer to the end of the runway, the voices are becoming more and more hysterical. Finally, when the airplane has less than 20 feet of runway left, there is a sudden change in the pitch of the shouts as everyone screams at once, and at the very last moment the airplane lifts off and is airborne. Up in the cockpit, the copilot breathes a sigh of relief and turns to the pilot: "You know, one of these days the passengers aren't going to scream, and we're gonna get killed!

HAND JOB

My future is bleek.....

i will get married to a person who i won't be compatible with
i will get diabetes
i dont have much scope as far as studies is concerned
i wont have a steady profession...as in i'll change...u know...
i will have hypertension
...hmmm lemme think...what else was i told

yeah someone saw my hand...n this is what is written on my hand!!!!

KABOOM

i have lost the will to be sarcastic....wait wait....almost lost the will....
till next time....
....if we meet again....

Pre reading

i wonder what the blog addicts, who by some stoke of luck are in a relationship with someone from the opposite sex( or from the same sex....i aint homophobic....i am using the term in the right way....rite???), talk to their partners....do they tell the other one --->" bah!! why dont u just read my blog first and then clarify all your doubts...."
this concept is called pre reading...which is prelevant in most of the top b schools( no there is nothin of this sort here in my school!!) wherein the students study the topic that they would be taught in the next class. so they basically understand the topic beforehand...n then they are just clarifying their doubts with the teacher when he is teaching the topic!!
what losers!!!!!!

you must have already guessed by now that i aint in a relationship...for reasons i'm not aware of(hehehehe who said ignorance is bliss....!!!!)
bah!!!!

recently we had a interactive session withour director where we had the opportunioty to put forth our suggestions as to how our schedule and all that jazz should be.

some ppl came up with the novel idea of having weekly business quizzes....DUH!!!
then there was the talk of having more case studies(some funda where u r given a real life situation and u have to solve the problem...n in the process u actually get some practical gyan...katte!!!)
then there was the suggestion of having 24 hour library....well hello...how much of the stardust can we read???
ofcourse if cosmo was there i could probably find out the reasons for my enforced celibacy!!!

but the thing that i liked the most was the 24 hour computer lab....woah....now i could write my blog more often(i.e. if our superior network actually opens the page in that one hour!!!)...but then again... i would be in the lab all the time...n would have no life...so...nothin to interestin to write...well...the no of ppl reading my blog are less...so i guess we could probably iggy the word 'interesting'...rite!!

Coming Back to Life

back after a while....
good news...i have updated the link to the Calvin n Hobbes website...i hope it does open this time around!!!
i have been down n out for the past few days...
bad(could be good) cold....fever...blah blah...enough to keep me out of the class!!!
a lot of people have been askin me if i had posted anything new on my blog... now that puts ekistraa pressure on me n my non sense!!
let me enlighten everyone...who reads this...bout myself  (Now, i know that not many people read my blog..ok 5-6....ok besides me no one does).
...i really dunno why everyone thinks i am very creative or i am very funny or i am very talented(now, a few ppl have told me...its not something that i am making up!!!)...blah blah blah...till date i still havent figured how people have come to this conclusion bout me...cause i have never delivered when it comes to doing things...in the sense...that whenever someone tells me that i should do this...put my wacky ideas...i choke...so basically what i am really tryin to say is that i have a lot of potential...but thats where the cookie crumbles.... potential potential....finito
ok enough of this serious crap....
had our freshers a few days ago...was good fun...
Atthani Chavanithis was the seniors way of getting the better of us one last time...basically they made us stand on one leg...with our our left hand stretched out...n they made us take a pledge.in a way it kinda reminded me of my days in the SS army....hail hitler!!!
yeah we got a lot of food back then...only thing missing was the female slave!!!!!bwahahahahah(thats my evil laugh...incase anyone forgot!!)after the war ended i was tortured by the jews...i became a lunatic...though i don't quite remembered how i died...or was killed...so now we all know how i was born stupid....as they say "life is like a box of chocolates....u never know how stupid u can get!!!!"

Muda muda muda

I have officially(as in on the blog) changed my name from freak to muda....well atleast for the day!!!
Muda, for all those who dont know bout it...means Waste...

now many of the people who do know me n also read this blog(now that narrows the number down to ...what 2 or 3....)might not...or rather will never agree with what i said above about me becoming muda...coz i have always been the quintisential muda(waste) candidate....well that would be true too....

life is still muda....
me is still muda
tra la la la
i'm a pedo...i'm a wierdo....
yeah.....
smells like muda spirit!!!!!!!!

...n so it begins

Finally the orientation is done....the breaks are all over...now the actual MBA starts....or so they say....
ok just to make things completely clear....i still have no goddamn clue as to what i am doin in a b school...

isn't this gettin way too cliche....

thats exactly what's happening to my life....

ok now that we are done with the introspection..lets get down n dirty!!!!heheheheh

cash flow is only outbound(what i really tried to say there was that financial constraints aplenty...or whateva...

Saw Lakshya a couple of days ago....identified myself with the character of Hritik Roshan....besides the good looks n the long hair...n his cute babe...not to miss out on those bulging biceps...people reading this(apparently not that many of em!!) must be wondering as to where wxactly does the similarity kick in....hmmm.....now thats a good one....well the part where he is confused with his life...thats the part i relate to....yeah i'm a loser....but lets just never repeat that again....



nothing more to write for now.....so...
over n out

week 2

as the saying goes......when the going gets tough...boyzone sang the cover version(yeah i forgot the rest of that quote!!!)

anyway....as we have been told that the blood bath is just bout to begin.....
the seniors keep tellin us what to do n what not to do....lemme leave it at that....as we somehow never seem to understand....or is the rebel inside us that makes us do that...NAH....im way too chicken to do any thing of that sort!!!!

on a lighter note...i have lost almost a KG.....phew....i guess its the rigourous excercise regime that i follow.....or probably the lack of it.....its funny but i lose weight pretty easily.....i can already imagine a lot of women calling me a bas*&^% for saying that...but "what to do."
hmmm.....im still as hopelessly jobless as i was before...inspite of having a lot of work...or rather pretending to have a lot of work....

babe front.... no access;)(pun very much intended....muahahahahahah)

women still do find me repulsive....i guess somethings never change!!!!

gotta scram
peace maan!!!

the diary of anne frank....well this feels like concentration camp

first week of coll....n i still dont know what i am doin in a b school!!!
every morning we get up early have a bath, get dressed n go to college....well not to study..but to sleep....phew thats a lot of effort!!!!

why am i doing MBA......still a very good Question!!!!

do i think i can make it thru....still a very good Question!!!!

I Am Mine - Pearl Jam

The selfish, they're all standing in line
Faithing and hoping to buy themselves time
Me, I figure as each breath goes by
I only own my mind

The North is to South what the clock is to time
There's east and there's west and there's everywhere

life
I know I was born and I know that I'll die
The in between is mine
I am mine

And the feeling, it gets left behind
All the innocence lost at one time
Significant, behind the eyes
There's no need to hide
We're safe tonight

The ocean is full 'cause everyone's crying
The full moon is looking for friends at hightide
The sorrow grows bigger when the sorrow's denied
I only know my mind
I am mine

And the meaning, it gets left behind
All the innocents lost at one time
Significant, behind the eyes
There's no need to hide
We're safe tonight

And the feelings that get left behind
All the innocents broken with lies
Significance, between the lines
(We may need to hide)

And the meanings that get left behind
All the innocents lost at one time
We're all different behind the eyes
There's no need to hide

plastic to the rescue

....had a dream last night....was hanging out with the most beautiful dame i have ever seen....

Everything was going perfectly.....the booze was cheap, the grub was great...n to top it all the dame was the sponsor...ah "Life was Beautiful!!"

So i decided to take it to the next level....

I made my move n tried to make out with her but got slapped even beofre i got close to her face...damn...thats not all...I tried to make out with her a couple more times..n again was slapped...but 5 more times...the other 3 were i guess bonus slaps!!!

Damn man...even in my imagination women find me repulsive!!!

This sucks big time!!!

Thats it...Plastic surgery AHOY!!!!

why am i still on the wrong side of virginity???

Ok so ain't exactly a mel gibson or a tom cruise...but why am i finding it so bloody difficult...

i mean.....
I am the one losing my virginity....she has nothin to lose...besides her dignity...but thats not really that big a deal...in today's world atleast!!!

Common...life can be just so damn unfair at times...