JENNIFER

...for quite some time I've been rummaging for inspiration to blog...n a little earlier I ate it…yes...went to pizza hut n ate some Pizza (duh) n some pasta (of very questionable origin!!!).
Went with my cousin...who picked up the tab...n on that note...

I have this friend whom I shall call Jennifer (...which also happens to be her real name but nobody knows her by that name cause she for some vague reason does not like it...even though I’m spreading the word...but that’s another story....)....so anyway...
This story’s bout how she classifies men into three extremely broad categories, namely

1. Creeps - the bottom dwellers - I happen to grace this category with my presence!!!!

2. Sweet guy - I almost made it into this category...but according to the rules...I had to listen n not bitch n not crack any of my cool jokes (read pathetic jokes).

3. Sweetheart - This is a distant non-dream...non dream because I don't really aspire to endure the pressures of this premium bracket!!


So what really separates the men from the goons?

Hmmmmm….

It’s rather simple….

Let’s start from the bottom rung… now this particular category also has three tiers…
First come the ‘Simple Creeps’ who aren’t very good at listening, crib bout a lot of things, pass some sarcastic comments, with a few, I repeat, very few jokes in between….in other words…pretty much like me… Now these guys have the chance of creeping up the ladder…though it is rather tough…but not impossible!!!
Now the next tier would be the ‘I wanna stab them with my nail file or anything I can get my hands on’. By stab she really means only some serious injury n nothing more…
These guys have pissed her off quite a lot n now face her wrath…it’s usually difficult to ascend from this level…that’s something that one learns from documented history!!!
The third tier is ‘I shall castrate him’. Which simply put would mean that she wants to rid you of your…u know…
...it’s not really a penis embargo….but more of eradication methodology!!!!

Ok so now that the kill bill part is over…lets see how one qualifies for the top two broad categories….
Now to elucidate the ‘sweet guy’ and the ‘sweetheart’ category is rather simple….u take the ‘simple creeps’ category n negate all the bad qualities…n u have the answer…
For instance the sweet guy would be a good listener, knows when to talk or be witty or just silently sit when she’s whining her heart out…n your patience out too!!!!
Now what separates the sweetheart from the sweet-guy is that the sweetheart picks up her tab in a restaurant or café or just buys her smokes…or at least does not pinch her smokes…n the works
As I said I fall into the simple-creeps category…I really dunno why though…
Who cares…I had pizza today…but I’m still single….dammit life sucks