Squirrels who run up woman's leg do not find nuts.

When I was born, I got a choice- A big dick or a good
memory. I am not able to remember, what did I choose.

Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the
condom factory.

My wife is a sex object. Evertime I ask for sex, she
objects.

Impotence: Nature's way of saying "No hard feelings".

There are only two four letter words that are
offensive to men - don't and stop, unless they are
used together.

Panties not best thing on earth, but next to best
thing on earth.

There are three stages to sex in a person's life: Tri
Weekly, Try Weekly, and Try Weakly.

Virginity can be cured.

Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a
good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dialer
were too small.

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy
adultery? .

Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with
the enemy.

Q: What's an Australian kiss?
A: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under.

A couple just married were happy with the whole thing.
He was happy with the Hole and She was happy with the
Thing......

Q: What are the three biggest tragedies in a mans
life?
A: Life sucks, job sucks and the wife doesn't.

Teacher: Use "harassment" in a sentence.
Johnny: Her mouth said 'no', but her ass meant 'yes'.

Q: What's the difference between a bitch and a whore?
A: A whore sleeps with everyone at the party and a
bitch sleeps with everyone except you.

Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact ?
A: Breasts don't have eyes.

Of course you've heard about the Viagra computer
virus, it turns your 3 1/2 inch floppy into a hard
disk.

Despite the old saying, "Don't take your troubles to
bed", many men still sleep with their wives !!!.